


discord is not a dating app

by Tallyverse



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory, at least between the side characters, chatfic, citrus squad, tags will update, this fic is pure self-indulgence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallyverse/pseuds/Tallyverse
Summary: Kiwi: he opens the doorand,,,,,,,get thisRockstar: he was a famous serial killer coincidentally staying in the same hotel as u wereKiwi: he was the most beautiful fucking guy i have ever seen in my life---Kiwi returns from his latest trip. He comes back with a very different kind of souvenir.
Relationships: Kiwi Cookie | Kiwi Biker Cookie/Lemon Cookie, Sparkling/Mint Choco/Rockstar/Vampire/DJ
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	1. wrong floor

[ Kiwi Cookie created a new DM with Rockstar Cookie. ]

Kiwi: oh man  
*oh man*

Rockstar: oh no  
what happened this time that is so important u had to isolate it from our other thread

Kiwi: i went on a trip, rocky

Rockstar: ??? ok  
aren’t u always on a trip

Kiwi: no rocky  
well yes rocky

Rockstar: ok

Kiwi: but this trip was different

Rockstar: isn’t that kinda the point of traveling lol  
go different places  
see different things

Kiwi: rockstar be serious please i am having a goddamn crisis over here

Rockstar: ok ok damn  
i’m being serious now  
i have a schedule u know so u better make it quick

Kiwi: ok i will  
so i went on a trip right, i had this thing all planned out  
like all the scenic routes and landmarks n shit, like i always do  
i wanted to visit riddleshore again cuz that place was so nice last year  
it was beautiful  
like that place has the best fucking sunset you’ll ever see in ur life  
not even joking

Rockstar: kiwi  
ur point

Kiwi: shit right  
my bad  
anyway  
i went to riddleshore, rented a 3rd-floor room in a hotel next to the ocean  
wasn’t cheap but i decided to pamper myself  
and after a long day of taking a bunch of cool photos for my scrapbook, i went back inside  
except  
i got off of the elevator on the wrong floor and didn’t know it

Rockstar: oh  
oh no

Kiwi: yeah

Rockstar: KIWI

Kiwi: YEAH  
SO I WENT TO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS MY ROOM

Rockstar: KIWI U FUCKING IDIOT

Kiwi: AND TRIED TO OPEN THE DOOR  
BUT OF FUCKING COURSE IT WOULDN’T OPEN BECAUSE I WAS ON THE WRONG FLOOR  
AND GUESS WHAT

Rockstar: it was occupied

Kiwi: IT WAS OCCUPIED

Rockstar: i can’t believe u  
what happened

Kiwi: SO I’M STANDING THERE TRYNA OPEN THE WRONG DOOR AND I GUESS THE GUY INSIDE HEARD IT  
AND SOMEHOW I DIDNT FIGURE OUT IT WAS THE WRONG ROOM UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE  
HE OPENS THE DOOR

Rockstar: did u get beat up  
tell me u got beat up

Kiwi: WHAT  
no  
rockstar i’m tryna tell my story

Rockstar: smh

Kiwi: he opens the door  
and,,,,,,,  
get this

Rockstar: he was a famous serial killer coincidentally staying in the same hotel as u were

Kiwi: he was the most beautiful fucking guy i have ever seen in my life

Rockstar: .  
what

Kiwi: he was blonde and his eyes were like a really cool electric yellow  
he was also tall

Rockstar: kiwi what

Kiwi: i think he was kinda annoyed at me for messing with his door and asked what the hell i was doing  
and ofc i had to explain i got off on the wrong floor but idk if he would believe it  
i didn’t wanna seem suspicious in front of someone who qualifies as eye candy

Rockstar: i

Kiwi: but u know  
i guess that was an ok excuse for him

Rockstar: kiwi

Kiwi: yeah  
what’s up

Rockstar: kiwi u useless bisexual  
tell me u just left it at that  
u left after u apologized right

Kiwi: well yeah ofc i didn’t wanna be rude

Rockstar: oh thank god

Kiwi: but the thing is i got his number BEFORE i apologized for the fifth time  
and only now am i losing my shit  
i got a hot guy’s number for a borderline breaking and entering crime  
.  
rocky?  
hello?


	2. rockstar is really passionate about this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rockstar hatches a plan born from romance. Only 1 of his 4 partners is completely on board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handy-dandy username guide
> 
> flamingguitarsolo - Rockstar  
> mintysterling - Mint Choco  
> borb - Vampire  
> dandelion_juice - DJ  
> sparklingparty - Sparkling

[ gayest gc in the world ]  
[ Members: flamingguitarsolo, mintysterling, borb, dandelion_juice, sparklingparty ]

flamingguitarsolo: Y’ALL YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED  
Y’ALL  
guys  
hello is anyone here

dandelion_juice: Some of us have lives, Rocky

flamingguitarsolo: ok well that life can wait i have something juicy to tell u all  
like really juicy

sparklingparty: ...How juicy are we talking?

borb: Is it juice

flamingguitarsolo: juicy enough to attract sparkling to the gc  
what  
no vamp it’s gossip

borb: Dang

mintysterling: Isn’t it a little rude to be soreading rumors?

mintysterling: *spreading

flamingguitarsolo: soreading

dandelion_juice: soreading

sparklingparty: soreading

borb: soreading

mintysterling: I hate this keyboard.

flamingguitarsolo: it’s not rude if we keep it between us lol  
which u guys will totally do right  
RIGHT

borb: right

dandelion_juice: I mean  
None of us really benefit from spreading a rumor beyond this gc lmao  
We’re too famous  
If anything, people spread rumors about *us*

sparklingparty: You know me. I just take pleasure in the act of knowing. ;)

flamingguitarsolo: rad  
ok then that being said  
i just came back from beating kiwi up

borb: Poor Kiwi D:

dandelion_jacket: Oh this is gonna be good

flamingguitarsolo: and u know about that trip he told me about a week or 2 ago  
he just came back from that like yesterday  
and apparently by some sheer stupid kiwi luck  
he managed to get a guy’s number by trying to open the wrong hotel room

mintysterling: I’m betting that cost him his first impression.

flamingguitarsolo: I MEAN I GUESS  
if u call getting a hot guy’s number by almost breaking into his room “costing his first impression”  
that guy must already have had low fucking standards

sparklingparty: Are you sure they were just low standards? You know Kiwi better than we do, Rocky  
But I think Kiwi is adorable enough to have someone smitten at first sight.

borb: Kinda like u Sprakly

sparklingparty: Aww, right back at you, darling ;)

mintysterling: Hey, what about the rest of us? :(

dandelion_juice: Yeah Sparkling save some tender-hearted compliments for the rest of us smh

flamingguitarsolo: guys  
u know what this means right

mintysterling: We...  
Leave Kiwi and his love interest alone to sort it out themselves?

flamingguitarsolo: WRONG  
we come up with a totally failproof plan to get them to hook up obviously

dandelion_juice: Uhhh what

sparklingparty: Okay, telling us the latest tea is one thing, Rockstar  
But acting upon that tea to make a tea party is a completely different matter.

flamingguitarsolo: …did u just use a tea metaphor to try and lecture me

sparklingparty: Yes, and?  
What are you going to do about it?

flamingguitarsolo: not listen

dandelion_juice: Why did I know you were going to say that

flamingguitarsolo: u guys don’t understand  
kiwi is the loneliest man i have ever had the honor of being friends with  
his best friend is a *motorcycle*

borb: My best freind is wine :)  
What’s rong with havign a motorcycle as a freind?

mintysterling: Rockstar, I love you, but we can’t just jump into something like this. None of us has to be involved in someone else’s romance.

flamingguitarsolo: listen  
this could be his chance  
he can finally get that thing he’s been secretly wanting his whole goddamn life

dandelion_juice: Wait hol up  
Do you even know the other guy’s name??? Or what he looks like???  
Playing matchmaker seems cool n all but I seriously need a name and a face in order to be going through with something like this lol

borb: Ooooo like a blind date :3  
So romantic

mintysterling: You can’t be seriously considering barging in on Kiwi’s business, DJ…

dandelion_juice: Aww cmon  
I can’t let Rocky hog ALL the stupid ||^)

flamingguitarsolo: i can read u know

dandelion_juice: Shocking

flamingguitarsolo: anyway lucky for u i *do* know this guy’s name and at least a description of what he looks like thanks to kiwi ofc  
his name is lemon cookie and he’s tall, blonde, and handsome

sparklingparty: ...Huh  
Isn’t that the guy with so much acid baked into his dough that he literally conducts electricity?

flamingguitarsolo: what

dandelion_juice: OH LOL HIM???  
Met him once at a signing party, said he was a fan of mine  
He was p chill when we spoke I like him

flamingguitarsolo: wait what  
how do u 2 know this guy before i do

borb: Sparkly knows everyone :D

mintysterling: And I’m guessing Lemon Cookie is a bigger fan of EDM than rock.  
Sorry for your loss, Rockstar ;)

flamingguitarsolo: >:(

dandelion_juice: This is all really good tho

mintysterling: Is it?

dandelion_juice: If this Lemon guy likes my music, maybe I have a better chance getting him n Kiwi to hook up  
Like I could be Kiwi’s friend for the day and just *happen* to be in town

borb: Dj is really going threw with this huh

sparklingparty: I can’t believe you two…  
Romance should be formed, not forced.  
What will Kiwi think when he finds out about your plan?

flamingguitarsolo: pshhhh he won’t think anything  
in fact i think he’ll be totally on board

dandelion_juice: Lol yeah what better first date than going to meet your suitor’s favorite musical artist?  
I bet Lemon would be impressed ||^)

flamingguitarsolo: see if dj doesn’t mind being used for romance bait then it’s ok :)

sparklingparty: Well, if you two are going through with this operation without any second opinion, can I say something  
Can I just say one thing

dandelion_juice: What’s up Bubbles

sparklingparty: If anything  
Don’t ruin this for poor Kiwi

mintysterling: ^^^

sparklingparty: Believe me when I say that I’ve seen a lot of dates at my bar  
And I’ve seen a lot of dates at my bar that end badly.  
I know you two have your best interests at heart but don’t push your plan too far

mintysterling: Sometimes just sitting back and letting things play out for themselves is the better thing to do.  
It’s like you always say, Rocky  
Go with the flow.

borb: They’re right you know ;(  
It’s ok to sit this 1 out

flamingguitarsolo: listen guys  
it’ll be fine  
we won’t be too pushy with this, just tryna nudge kiwi along a little

dandelion_juice: Yeah  
And besides if it doesn’t work out then it’s whatever you know

mintysterling: Okay…  
If you two really know what you’re getting yourselves into.

flamingguitarsolo: we’ll compile a dating plan and give u guys an update on how it goes

dandelion_juice: Aw yeah!! Time to bring out the rig again!  
Operation Get Kiwi a Boyfriend is a go!


	3. tinder but better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rockstar and DJ run their plan by Kiwi, but Kiwi has something else to say about it.

[ Rockstar Cookie created a new group chat. ]  
[ Rockstar Cookie added 2 people. ]  
[ Rockstar Cookie changed the chat name to “tinder but better”. ]

Kiwi: oh god  
what’s happening

Rockstar: kiwi don’t panic  
we’re gonna get u some lemony ass

Kiwi: wtf  
please don’t say it like that  
and u really don’t have to, i already texted him and we were planning on meeting up anyway

Rockstar: yeah i know  
but u need something to help  
u gotta take him on a date that’ll wow him and make him fall in love in 2 seconds

Kiwi: huh

DJ: I’m gonna help!

Kiwi: HUH

DJ: Hey man lmao

Rockstar: kiwi, meet dj. dj, meet kiwi  
kiwi, dj’s music sucks ass but they’re really cool in every other aspect of life

DJ: Ok asshole  
Don’t listen to him Kiwi  
He might be your friend but he makes a lot of questionable choices

Rockstar: *soulmate

DJ: Exhibit A being this plan

Kiwi: trust me i know  
wait what  
what plan

Rockstar: ,,,ok kiwi don’t freak out but

Kiwi: you told people.

DJ: Oooh a period yikes

Rockstar: YES I DID BUT LISTEN

Kiwi: this better be good

Rockstar: it was only with my homies i swear  
and that includes dj as u know

DJ: Don’t worry Kiwi. I won’t tell a soul  
The tabloids are more interested in *my* love life than yours I promise

Kiwi: sigh  
i’m going to deal with u later rocky  
just explain what this gc is for

Rockstar: okok  
so  
the reason i put us all in here is to explain my totally awesome plan to impress kiwi’s new boyfriend so he’ll stay

Kiwi: he’s not my boyfriend  
he is a guy i met less than a week ago on a trip

Rockstar: yeah but u want him to be ur boyfriend

Kiwi: rockstar

Rockstar: am i wrong

Kiwi: ,,no

Rockstar: see the point still stands  
anyway my friend dj here just so happens to be lemon’s fav music artist  
which sucks  
cuz it really should’ve been me

Kiwi: huh  
the more u know

DJ: Don’t be a sore loser

Rockstar: i’m not

Kiwi: and u found this out,,,,how

DJ: I’ve seen the guy around. He was at one of my signing parties and I recognized him when Rocky was spilling tea to me n the others  
Kind of a quiet guy I noticed  
But he’s interesting to talk to

Kiwi: rad

Rockstar: so kiwi  
when u go on a date with this guy, i was kind of thinking  
how cool would it be if u took him to meet dj again? but more personally?  
u could say something like  
i dunno

DJ: That I know you, and that you could introduce him to me privately

Rockstar: yeah!!  
like that  
how’s it sound?

Kiwi: ehhh seems cool but  
i dunno

Rockstar: u dunno?  
about what

Kiwi: i feel like this would count as trying too hard

Rockstar: ,,,,,what do u mean

Kiwi: it’s a great plan, don’t get me wrong  
if i were someone totally out of the loop of a plan like this, i’d love to meet my idol in like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity  
and i’m really grateful that u could get dj to do this for me and all but  
this is kind of

DJ: Dishonest?

Kiwi: yeah  
yeah let’s go with that  
dishonest  
and overcomplicated

Rockstar: hmm  
i guess i understand  
but isn’t this what u wanted?

Kiwi: isn’t what what i wanted

Rockstar: romance, kiwi.  
just earlier u were freaking out about getting another guy’s number  
and swooning over how cute he was or whatever

Kiwi: well yeah sure  
romance i guess  
and u seemed to disapprove of me rushing into it at first so you coming forward with this plan was kind of surprising

DJ: Hey uh  
Sorry to interrupt but  
I feel like I’m missing a lot of underlying context here

Kiwi: u are  
but it’s not rlly important atm

DJ: Ah valid

Rockstar: ok let me just ask it straight then  
why don’t u want to do this?

Kiwi: hey man it’s not like I *don’t* wanna do it  
it’s a nice plan to make someone’s day, and believe me I would kill to see someone having the best day of their life  
it just seems…unnecessarily staged.  
if i were to do something like this, i feel like lemon and i should know each other a lot better than just two strangers who ran into each other at a seaside hotel  
i’m not even supposed to know that he likes dj, since i personally never asked  
i really was just planning to hang out with the guy at like the arcade or something  
u know  
casual first date

DJ: ,,You know Rocky  
He makes a valid argument  
And Mint and Sparkling’s points are starting to become very clear now

Rockstar: dammit

DJ: Sorry, man

Rockstar: well there goes that  
what are we supposed to do now

DJ: Uh  
Let  
Kiwi plan out his own date?  
Didn’t you say he travels  
I’m sure he’s a good planner

Kiwi: u learn from experience

DJ: Yeah see

Rockstar: ,,,,ok fine  
we can plan this kiwi’s way

DJ: Sweet

Rockstar: what u got in mind kiwi

Kiwi: like i said, i was just gonna meet up with him at the arcade

Rockstar: and

Kiwi: that’s,,,,,  
it?

Rockstar: that’s it

Kiwi: maybe take him for a spin on my bike idk

DJ: Solid plan  
Simple, but solid  
However may I say one thing

Kiwi: sure

DJ: What if he’s not interested in you after the date

Kiwi: then it’s ok  
a bummer for sure but ok  
it was just a crush anyway

Rockstar: aw kiwi :(

Kiwi: rockstar knows this  
this isn’t my first bike ride and as much as i hate to admit it, it might not be my last either  
i might just be romantically unlucky lol but  
it is what it is

DJ: Man  
Sorry  
I probably shouldn’t have asked lmao

Kiwi: nah ur good  
thanks for tryna set me up on a cool date tho  
i know rocky just wanted me to succeed this time and i’m happy u guys care

Rockstar: i’m really sorry kiwi

Kiwi: it’s fine man  
really

Rockstar: at least this time it was the other guy giving u his number

Kiwi: haha yeah  
might be a good sign but we’ll see

DJ: Yo it’s getting late  
Maybe now is a good time to call it quits, yeah?  
Wind down the conversation

Rockstar: sure  
i’m tired anyway

Kiwi: me too

DJ: Alrighty then  
It was nice meeting you, Kiwi

Kiwi: ditto, dj  
i’m a big fan of ur music too

Rockstar: wow,,,,,,  
traitor

DJ: Still a sore loser


	4. motorcycle not bicycle

[ gayest gc in the world ]

flamingguitarsolo: morning

mintysterling: Good morning

dandelion_juice: Morn

flamingguitarsolo: so  
there’s good news and bad news

mintysterling: May we have the bad news first?

flamingguitarsolo: kiwi didn’t go through with the plan

mintysterling: Oh thank Moonlight.

sparklingparty: I fail to see how that is bad news, but I’m sorry it didn’t work out nonetheless.  
What’s the good news?

flamingguitarsolo: >:(  
even without my and dj’s help, kiwi is going on a date with the guy anyway

borb: Yay!

dandelion_juice: It actually went better than I thought it would go  
The way Rocky went into this made me think Kiwi was gonna be some hopeless romantic in distress  
Which was totally inaccurate btw

flamingguitarsolo: but he IS a hopeless romantic

dandelion_juice: I mean I guess, he kinda explained why though

sparklingparty: Interesting

mintysterling: I kind of feel bad...Rockstar seemed really passionate about that plan whatever it was

flamingguitarsolo: yeah well  
kiwi wasn’t on board with it  
he said it was “dishonest” or something like that

dandelion_juice: It wasn’t “something like that”  
It was exactly what he said

borb: Why  
Were yuo guys lying to him too :(

flamingguitarsolo: no vamp  
he wanted their first date to be as genuine as possible ig  
and me dragging dj into this felt like too much effort to him

sparklingparty: I can see where he’s coming from.

dandelion_juice: So you know  
You n Minty were right in the end  
As much as Rockstar hates to admit being wrong lmao

flamingguitarsolo: shut up ur mouth  
i was trying to do kiwi a service  
like true soulmates do

mintysterling: Well with your idea flopping almost immediately, I suppose there’s really only one thing you *can* do for him at this point.

flamingguitarsolo: spy on him while he’s on his date  
thank u minty ur a genius

mintysterling: What  
No >:(  
I meant just being there to support him as a friend

flamingguitarsolo: ig

borb: Rocky  
Kiwi trusted u enough to tell u abt the guy rite  
Maybe all he wants rn is a friend like u to help him if thing dont work out

sparklingparty: Well said.  
I know you’re worried about Kiwi, Rocky. That he might get his heart broken by a stranger that gave him their number out of the blue.

dandelion_juice: Yeah, and even if that happens, it’s not the end of the world lol  
He can still travel and meet new people and stuff  
Just talking to the guy, he seems p resilient

flamingguitarsolo: fuck guys  
i didn’t ask for a teaching moment

mintysterling: Sorry

flamingguitarsolo: but u all have a point anyway  
trust me when i say kiwi is a great guy  
and i would hate to see him feel awful all week over a failed outing with another boy

mintysterling: We understand  
But it’s like we said, don’t try to force yourself into someone else’s business

borb: Sit back and relax~

dandelion_juice: Unless Kiwi is in danger and he doesn’t know about it lol  
Which won’t happen

mintysterling: Yes. Exactly

borb: If he is in danger tho he will let u know <:)

flamingguitarsolo: ok  
ok fine  
i’ll let him do what he wants but if this doesn’t work out i’m gonna get into his business anyway

mintysterling: Fair enough.  
Somewhat.  
Just don’t get too worked up over it

sparklingparty: Yes, have a drink or something  
We can all just stream a movie into the gc and chill out

borb: My faovorite past time!

flamingguitarsolo: too bad i ran outta beer

sparklingparty: Oh shame.  
Good thing I myself have plenty. ;)

flamingguitarsolo: ,,,can u send me some

sparklingparty: I’m aaaalready on it, darling.

\---

[ From Kiwi Cookie to Lemon Cookie ]

Kiwi: hey man  
we still on for later?

Lemon: yeah we’re meeting at the arcade next to the movie theater right

Kiwi: yup!  
we can stop by that movie theater too to see what’s playing  
maybe walk around or take a spin on my bike

Lemon: your bike?

Kiwi: yeah!!  
like a motorcycle

Lemon: oh i thought u meant like a bicycle

Kiwi: nahh

Lemon: thats cool tho  
never been on a motorbike before it might be fun

Kiwi: trust me it is  
hell of a lot faster than a car  
i mean if there’s no traffic or anything

Lemon: i imagine so

Kiwi: cool so if we got time we can do that too  
oh uh  
can i also mention something else  
promise it’s not too personal or anything

Lemon: sure

Kiwi: u ever been on a date like this before?

Lemon: nope

Kiwi: oh huh

Lemon: why

Kiwi: idk  
i was just thinking  
u sort of gave me ur number so suddenly i thought u just did this to everyone that accidentally knocks on ur hotel door

Lemon: oh haha nah  
that was sort of a spur of the moment thing cuz i genuinely thought u were adorable

Kiwi: daww

Lemon: srry was that weird

Kiwi: nonono haha  
nobody’s really said that to me in earnest  
u just seemed like a cool guy n i really wanna get to know u so

Lemon: you do

Kiwi: for sure

Lemon: well not to be a downer or anything but im not great at expressing myself outwardly

Kiwi: oh that’s ok  
i know a few people like that so don’t stress too much lol  
my friends tell me i do enough talking for 2 people anyway

Lemon: i find anyone who can manage to keep up a conversation with me amazing

Kiwi: then prepared to be *blown away*  
oop my pet bird is bothering me for something  
i’ll see you later

Lemon: oh ok  
later


	5. citrus gang rise up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the citrus squad catches up with Lemon’s little date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Username guide
> 
> reddish_yellow - Orange  
> gottagofast - Grapefruit  
> keylime - Lime  
> pikachu - Lemon

[ From Rockstar Cookie to Kiwi Cookie ]

Rockstar: so  
how’s the sate goin

Kiwi: sate

Rockstar: DATE  
u know what i mean  
did u kiss

Kiwi: rocky for god’s sake it’s only been 20 minutes

Rockstar: yeah so  
a lot can happen in 20 minutes  
u could kiss in 20 minutes  
maybe less idk depends on how much he’s into it

Kiwi: rocky we’re still only just getting to know each other

Rockstar: is he hotter than last time  
did he dress nice  
did he put on cologne like ur stereotypical tryhard

Kiwi: i’ll entertain ur questions later please  
i’m busy

Rockstar: oh yeah  
wait why are you texting me shouldn’t u b on a date

Kiwi: YOU TEXTED ME FIRST

Rockstar: my bad  
why ARE u texting me tho  
aren’t u with lem rn

Kiwi: yeah but he went to the bathroom for a bit

Rockstar: did u go to the arcade like u said u would

Kiwi: yea  
he’s good at gaming  
even those super retro arcade cabinet games  
u know the ones

Rockstar: pshhh i’ll believe it when i see it  
if he can’t beat my galaga high score then he’s no better than u

Kiwi: oh shut up

Rockstar: how is he anyway?  
is he mean  
if he’s mean i’m kickin his ass

Kiwi: he’s not mean u asshole  
he’s nice  
doesn’t emote much but that’s ok

Rockstar: oh so like ur typical eboy

Kiwi: no

Rockstar: boring

Kiwi: no  
isn’t that what u said about dj too  
“boring generic edm artist with no taste”

Rockstar: SHHHHSHSHHSSHH

Kiwi: YEA U DID  
something abt them being too “mainstream” for u or whatever

Rockstar: that was old me i am no longer that person  
i know not who that rockstar from the past is

Kiwi: if u say so  
lemon’s not a eboy tho  
he has the wardrobe of one but is not an eboy

Rockstar: how can u be sure  
u haven’t seen his tiktok yet  
u don’t even know if he has one

Kiwi: why r u concerned on whether he has a tiktok  
better yet why are we even arguing about this

Rockstar: yeah why are we  
we both know i’m right

Kiwi: u say that about every argument

Rockstar: it’s cuz it’s true  
u know the saying  
i’m always right until proven wrong

Kiwi: isn’t it “innocent until proven guilty”

Rockstar: no

Kiwi: see ur wrong just now

Rockstar: OKAY WELL  
i am right in every other aspect  
just not in popular sayings like that

Kiwi: what even is there to be right about here  
u just said he was an eboy and i said no

Rockstar: >:(

Kiwi: u don’t even know what ur trying to be right about lmao  
o shit he’s comin back

Rockstar: wait don’t leave me

Kiwi: bye lol  
dw i’ll bring something back for u after the date

Rockstar: KIWI  
:(

———

[ og citrus squad ]  
[ Members: pikachu, keylime, reddish_yellow, gottagofast ]

reddish_yellow: So  
Lemon  
:)

pikachu: im fine

reddish_yellow: LMAO I didn’t even ask the question yet  
Got ants in your pants already?

pikachu: *im fine*

keylime: that’s exactly what people who are not fine would say

gottagofast: Lemooon is in looooove hehehe

pikachu: stop

reddish_yellow: Aw c’mon Energizer we’re just teasing!  
You done with your little date already?

pikachu: not yet  
just went to the bathroom

keylime: with intentions of coming back out i hope

pikachu: listen—

keylime: i’m listening

pikachu: i walked out ONCE on a date n it was because the guy was invading my personal space every two fucking seconds

gottagofast: Was it worth slappin your number on *this* guy’s helmet or was he a lost cause and you’re hiding in the bathroom til he gets the hint??

pikachu: no no hes cool

reddish_yellow: And

pikachu: i like him

reddish_yellow: And

pikachu: ...what do u want me to say

keylime: you didn’t answer the question my guy

pikachu: ,,,yes it was worth slapping my number on that guy’s helmet

gottagofast: OOOOHOHO

reddish_yellow: Is he cuuute? Did he dress up just for you? Did he make any moves yet??  
Tell us tell us!

gottagofast: Spill the beans! >:D

pikachu: what he does on this date is none of ur businesses

reddish_yellow: Aww Lem ;( don’t be like that

gottagofast: Booooriiiing

keylime: will you at least tell us what he’s like?  
you know other than “he’s cool” and “i like him”  
cuz those are some pretty lemon-typical answers that can be said for *literally everyone*

pikachu: ugh fine  
shorter than me. green hair. he did dress up but it was pretty subtle i guess so i cant rlly blame him

gottagofast: Lmao he dressed to impress

pikachu: he talks so much

reddish_yellow: You say that like it’s a bad thing

keylime: what, is his blabber too overwhelming for you?

pikachu: no  
its not a bad thing i was just saying  
he warned me he talked enough for two people and he wasnt kidding

keylime: i thought you’d hate someone who made that much noise around you lol

pikachu: i mean yeah i guess  
but he talks in such a weirdly endearing way and its not like  
in my face or anything so  
whatever

gottagofast: ???? How can the way someone talks be *endearing*

reddish_yellow: Well when you’re Lemon and you’re super gay, everything your crush does is endearing

pikachu: hes not my crush

keylime: :/

pikachu: yet  
we’re still just testing the waters here give me a break

reddish_yellow: Hey speaking of which  
Aren’t you supposed to be on a date

pikachu: wait shit my date

reddish_yellow: Ah. There it is

keylime: always so distracted smh

gottagofast: Bring back souvenirs!!!!  
And food!!!

———

[ From Kiwi Cookie to Lemon Cookie ]

Kiwi: u ok in there???  
ur takin an awfully long time  
hello?

Lemon: my bad i got a call in the middle of my business and had to take it

Kiwi: oh!  
no worries then  
sorry i thought something happened

Lemon: its cool im comin out right now

Kiwi: rad  
hey after this we can hit up the movie theater later i think they’re showing something cool  
wanna?

Lemon: yea  
sounds good


End file.
